Oh, maggot, he's a modern day fagan Turfing out your pockets like a christian burns a pagan Dripping with charm, style and panache He'll leave you sore like a venereal rash They tried to catch him, he says, 'time to dash' He always leaves a party with a wallet full of cash He's a bastard, but he's always looking flash With his shoes like Dick Turpin, across his waist he wears a sash Sporting top hat, with a pocket watch too The tallest member of the goldie lookin' crew Watch out if he's there when you're pissed He learnt his science from the man, Oliver Twist Of his crimes, we tried to compile a list Selling sexy DVD's of a willy being kissed Stealing pensions on the old and infirm Made a fortune selling doctors fake sperm Like Charles Dickens, there's a lesson to be learned Beware the maggot cos the worm has turned Whoop.
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